Today is a day I just want to ramble…
Actually, I am not so sure I ‘want’ to ramble as much as my mind won’t stop. I feel hijacked and I am told that in a hi-jack situation you should give your captor what they want to live. So… here I am letting my mind ramble. sorry in advance for run on sentences and a myriad of topics.
#1, I am obsessed with Nickelback for the last two days. It could be so much worse! Enough said.
# 2 I am recently home from a second visit to SoCal to continue to mourn and celebrate my beautiful niece’s upcoming wedding. I think that is the poster child for bitter-sweet visit. It’s been almost a month since we lost Wendy and Cory. I no longer want to sucker-punch something out of the overflow of excess energy in my body. You know, kinetic energy, 2nd law of thermodynamics. Clearly not my fault… just science.
Although lots of time with lots of family does some internal healing, my mind is still stuck. I am not necessarily sad all day every day anymore, just stuck. It’s a bad time to have a job and probably a bad time to expect me to be able to plan too far in advance. Like tomorrow. Unless it’s a movie… or coffee. Coffee is a no brainer, I want it now and will want it any other time you ask me.Hang on, let me take a sip of my coffee.
#3 World Hunger – Not really but I feel like that. Like I really should be tackling some world issue and changing the world. But we will have to plan that when I feel more capable of planning.
I am not complaining. Don’t get that from me, I am just stumped by loss at the moment. My life will never be the same and I didn’t even see them everyday like others in my family. Maybe the World Peace thought is from that, maybe if I could restore some sense of logic to life??? But I doubt it.
So, there’s my 5 minute timer that I had to escape working and process a few things that are cluttering my thought process. Woosh! Sweeping the crumbs out with the thoughts. In theory, I can return to focussed work now.
Theory sucks, it’s rarely reality.
Final thought as I go into overtime. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted:he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. So this is normal. To all my family and friends that are hurting now and for those that will hurt later. This is normal and I couldn’t ask for a better friends (that includes family) to go through this with. I love you all and this is more bearable with you. God is close to us now.
For many of you reading this, Dania’s wedding is right around the corner. Talk about God’s good timing! A happy event and celebration of what an amazing life Dania has made for herself and her family. WOO HOO to hot mama Dania. Cory would kick us in the bum if we didn’t celebrate like it our very lives depended on it. See you all there. Those I won’t see, I love you and am determined to say that way more often because we just aren’t promised tomorrow. We aren’t even promised later on today. So again, I LOVE you and I love you with all I have and the extra that God gives me. My friends, family and loved ones are stitched into the very fabric of who I am and I am grateful.
Thank you for humoring me as I work these things out in writing as thiis how I am built.